War
SaddamHussein was sitting in his bunker wondering whom to invade next when his telephone rang. Hallo!Mr.Hussein, a heavily accented voice said. This isTrosclaire down at the Fred's Lounge in Mamou. I'm callin' to told you we be officially declarin' war on you! Well,Trosclaire,Saddam replied, This is indeed important news! How big is yourarmy? Rat now,saidTros, (hesitating) there is me, my cousin T-Nom, my nex door neighbor T-Boy, and the whole bunch from the bar. That makes us eight! Saddam paused.I must tell you, Tros, that I have one million men in my army waitingto move on my command. Kee-ough!said Tros. I gots to call you back later! Sure enough,the next day, Tros called again. Mr. Hussein, the war is still on! We got us war some equipment! And what equipment would that be, Tros? Saddam asked. Well,wegot us two combines, a dozer, and a farm tractor. Saddam sighed.I must tell you, Trosclaire, that I have 16,000 tanks and 14,000armouredpersonnel carriers. Also, I've increased my army to 1-1/2 million since we last spoke. Poo-yie!said Tros. I gots to get back to you later. Sure enough,Tros rang again the next day. Mr.Hussein, da war still be on! We got ourselves some airborne! We've took T-Cat's utra-light glider an we put us a shotgun in the cockpit, and Nonk got outs of jail today and he is gonna join our army too! Saddam was silent for a minute and then cleared his throat. I must tell you, Trosclaire, that I have 10,000 bombers and20,000 fighter planes. My militarycomplex is surrounded by laser-guided, surface-to-air missile sites. Andsince we last spoke, I've increased my army to TWO MILLION! Ah-yie-yie!screamsTros, I gots ta call you back later. Sure enough,Tros calls again the next day. Bonjour, Sad-damn! I gots to toll youweis callin' off dis war. I'm sorry to hear that,said Saddam. Why the sudden change of heart? Well,said Trosclair, we all had a long talk at the bar an Sheriff Wayne Moran says no way he's gonna feed two million prisoners.