Scientists v. God
There was a group of scientists and they were all sitting around discussing which one of them was going to go to God and tell Him that they didn't need him anymore. Finally, one of the scientists volunteered and went to go tell God he was no longer needed. The scientist says to God, "God, you know, a bunch of us have been thinking and I've come to tell you that we really don't need you anymore. I mean, we've been coming up with great theories and ideas, we've cloned sheep, and we're on the verge of cloning humans. So as you can see, we really don't need you." God nods understandingly and says. "I see. Well, no hard feelings. But before you go let's have a contest. What d'ya think?" The scientist says, "Sure. What kind of contest?" God: "A man-making contest." The scientist: "Sure! No problem" The scientist bends down and picks up a handful of dirt and says, "Okay, I'm ready!" God replies, "No, no. You go get your own dirt." ======================================== To Be Ten Again ---------------------------------------- A man asked his wife, "What would you most like for your birthday?" She said, "I'd love to be ten again." On the morning of her birthday, he got her up bright and early and off they went to a theme park. He put her on every ride in the park, the Death Slide, The Screaming Loop, the Wall of Fear. Everything there was, she had a go. She staggered out of the theme park five hours later, her head reeling and her stomach upside down. Into McDonald's they went, where she was given a Double Big Mac with extra fries and a strawberry shake. Then off to a movie theater, more burgers, popcorn, cola and sweets. At last she staggered home with her husband and collapsed into bed. Her husband leaned over and asked, "Well, dear, what was it like being ten again?" One eye opened and she groaned, "Actually I meant dress size."