Lawyer 2
A lawyer got married to a woman who had previously been married 12 times! On their wedding night, they settled into the Bridal Suite at their hotel, and the bride said to her new groom: "Please, promise to be gentle; I'm still a virgin." The groom looked puzzled. He thought after 12 marriages, surely at least one of her husbands would have been able to perform. So he asked his new bride to explain this phenomenon. She responded: "My first husband was a Sales Rep who spent the entire marriage telling me, in grandiose terms, how great it was going to be. My second husband worked in Software Services; he was never quite sure how it was supposed to function. My third husband worked in Field Services, and repeatedly said that everything was diagnostically OK but could never get the system up. My fourth husband was an Educator. You know the old saying-Those who can, do; those who can't, teach. My fifth husband worked in Telemarketing. He knew he had the order, but wasn't quite sure when he was going to be able to deliver. My sixth husband was an engineer; he told me that he understood the basic process but needed 3 years to research, implement and design a new state-of-the-art method. My seventh husband worked in Administration. He knew how, but wasn't sure whether it was his job or not. My eighth husband worked in the Standards and Regulations Department. He said he met the minimum standards but wasn't clear on how to do it. My ninth husband was a Marketing Manager. He had the product, but wasn't sure how to position it. My tenth husband was a psychiatrist-all he ever wanted to do was talk about it. My eleventh husband was a gynaecologist-he just wanted to look at it. My twelfth husband was a stamp collector, and all he ever wanted to do was ...........God I really miss him. So now that I've married YOU, I'm really excited! The lawyer asked "Why is that?" She said, "Well, it should be obvious-you're a lawyer. I just know I'm gonna get screwed this time! ***