Scientists v. God

There was a group of scientists and they were all sitting
around discussing which one of them was going to go to God
and tell Him that they didn't need him anymore.

Finally, one of the scientists volunteered and went to go
tell God he was no longer needed.

The scientist says to God, "God, you know, a bunch of us
have been thinking and I've come to tell you that we really
don't need you anymore. I mean, we've been coming up with
great theories and ideas, we've cloned sheep, and we're on
the verge of cloning humans. So as you can see, we really
don't need you."

God nods understandingly and says. "I see. Well, no hard
feelings. But before you go let's have a contest. What d'ya
think?"

The scientist says, "Sure. What kind of contest?"

God: "A man-making contest."

The scientist: "Sure! No problem" The scientist bends down
and picks up a handful of dirt and says, "Okay, I'm ready!"

God replies, "No, no. You go get your own dirt."



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To Be Ten Again
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A man asked his wife, "What would you most like for your
birthday?"

She said, "I'd love to be ten again."

On the morning of her birthday, he got her up bright and
early and off they went to a theme park. He put her on every
ride in the park, the Death Slide, The Screaming Loop, the
Wall of Fear. Everything there was, she had a go.

She staggered out of the theme park five hours later, her
head reeling and her stomach upside down.

Into McDonald's they went, where she was given a Double Big
Mac with extra fries and a strawberry shake.

Then off to a movie theater, more burgers, popcorn, cola and
sweets.

At last she staggered home with her husband and collapsed
into bed.

Her husband leaned over and asked, "Well, dear, what was it
like being ten again?"

One eye opened and she groaned, "Actually I meant dress
size."